People get into relationships to love and be loved. In the beginning it is natural to give love and receive it. The two-way street is easy, but after some time partners begin to feel like they should continue getting without having to give or without putting in any of the work. All relationships have ups and downs, happy and trying moments, and agreements or disagreements.
Part of what makes a healthy relationship is being a team player and keeping up with your responsibilities as a couple. Something you need to know in order to fulfill your role is to know what makes your partner feel appreciated and loved.
This is a tough requirement of each teammate and it takes work. We are experts in knowing what we want, but we constantly are looking for what we should be getting or receiving. Knowing how to overcome this hurdle is crucial in order to be successful with your relationship or marriage.
There is no free lunch. Knowing this basic life principle can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting for whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.
Relationships require consistent effort from both partners. Read the hidden keys below that you can do each day to lead your relationship towards success.
Show appreciation in a relationship affectionately:
Showing appreciation in a relationship goes a long way in maintaining a winning streak. You have to actually show that appreciation through your daily actions, such as:
· Noticing what your partner does and thanking them for the great job they’ve done.
· Doing a chore for your partner without being asked to.
· Leaving notes thanking your partner for something they did.
· Buying a small token when you are out to let your mate know you are thinking about them.
· Looking for something positive in your partner and then expressing it to them.
· Emailing or texting an appreciation to your partner at least once a day.
· Using some appropriate humor, which your partner appreciates, as a way to give a complement.
Talk to them and remind them why you love them:
Make them feel special and let them know they are an important part of your life. Say “thank you” and acknowledge the little things your partner does. There is a lot of negativity in the world. You can be the one to make a difference in your home. Show it through your words and actions. Trust me, this doesn’t go unnoticed.
Complement each other daily:
There is plenty of pressure from the outside world to be perfect. The perfect body, the perfect disposition, to be the most successful, and on and on. A romantic relationship can and should be a safe place, so reassure your partner that he/she is attractive, lovable, and accomplished. Cheer them on.
Make decisions for each other for a whole day:
We make literally thousands of tiny little decisions each and every day, from what we wear to what we eat, from where we sit to when we go to sleep at night. Making decisions can be exhausting. But, getting decisions made for you by your partner can be a fun break. Give your partner a break and ask them if they want you to make decisions for them.
Share your goals and dreams with your partner:
Create a few goals together as a couple, whether it’s a goal to become more fit together or setting up a joint savings account for a future goal. After all, you’re better together as a team. Giving the right gifts can show just how much you care for, and understand them. When you do things daily for your partner, it builds up your relationship bank. What are you and your partner saving for?
Just like increasing or adding exercise into your life sets up the first steps to creating a leaner and stronger body, so does completing daily appreciations in relationships. Just as feeling happy about your body improves confidence, so will taking daily steps in your relationship. Practice and perform these tips every day to help your relationship bond become rewarding, reliable, and loving.
Sometimes being a good teammate is challenging. We notice that we are carrying a heavier load or that they are not giving you appreciation.
There are going to be times when one teammate is taking the lead. I often show a video displaying the wisdom of the geese. These animals know the load is lessened when you take turns leading.
When it becomes difficult, try some of these tips to help you overcome the desire to criticize:
· Instead of negatively commenting on an annoying habit, take several relaxing breaths.
· When you have had negative thoughts about your partner, shift to thinking about what your partner has done.
· Try putting things into perspective by taking a step back and analyzing the situation.
· Make a list of things that your partner does when they are being a good teammate.
· Remind yourself that you are on a team and not opponents.
· Try to understand what your partner is experiencing in that moment. Put yourself in their shoes as an experiment.
Maintaining your relationship can often be viewed as just another task on our never ending to-do list in life. It’s the small, consistent habits that keep your bond strong over the years and make relationships work. With these simple tips, you will not only strengthen your relationship, but you will also make it fun, exciting, and something to look forward to!
It is a great feeling to be on a winning team. A coach wouldn’t stand for bickering teammates. A good coach would call the team into a locker room for a chat. Channel your inner coach and remind yourself there is no I or You in team. It’s important to realize that your partner is doing the best they can. Try focusing on how you can be present in your relationship to make your team better and stronger.
Relationship counseling can help both partners understand each other’s worlds.
If you need help becoming a team player or feel like you are carrying the whole load in your relationship, schedule your initial therapy session and you will receive immediate help before your first scheduled session appointment.
If you really want to fast track changes through a unique counseling approach, inquire about the relationship boot camp services available for couples here in Harrisburg PA or check out our Harrisburg marriage counseling services. Attending one of these couples counseling sessions is like attending months of therapy in 1 or 2 days and a great experience to find health in your marriage or relationship.